"YOU LEARN"

"You Learn." Boy, have I learned! And, I am sure there is much more to learn. I wait–it’s worth the wait. I hear something. I learn. I see something. I learn. I am probably older than most of you but I have never stopped learning.

I love life. That is why I write to you about suicide so much. I hate it. I have seen the devastation that has come to families, to individuals, to me. I try not to write as a counselor but as a friend. I hope you will accept my friendship. Each of us has so much to offer.

I am compelled to write tonight. I spent the day with the physically incarcerated. That’s right! That’s where I was all day just as I am on every Thursday. Those guys have a lot to share. Each one has hope. You would think that is a hopeless situation but, perhaps you have never been there, so you do not know.

Let me ask you. How would you like to be locked up for 10, 15, 45, 50 years? Sobering thought, isn’t it? What would you spend your time thinking about? What would you do? When you were threatened, what would you do? That’s to see life from an entirely different perspective than most of us have seen it.

I’ve been with them for nearly 13 years. I have heard their hurts, pleas, desires, hopes, aspirations, needs. . .they are all the same-race or culture makes no difference. That is the way it is with me and you as well. Our needs are the same.

What have I learned through all this? That is a key concept. If I hear someone say, I have learned. I pay closer attention. Know why? I might just learn from their lives, their hopes, their needs, their experiences–something that will help me.

I remember Alanis Morissette 10 years ago. I remember the hurt that pervaded some of her lyrics. I pay attention to music because, from it, I learn. There is much more to You Learn but listen to these words:

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

That’s a lot of learning. Have you been there? I have. I know. I think you do too. That is why I am writing you. Yes: I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone; I recommend walking around naked in your living room. . . .I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone, I certainly do; I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time, Feel free!

I don’t know about you but those are powerful words. We often say, Been there! Done that! How true. I’ve made most of the mistakes. I am human. But, I am salvageable. So are you. Those I go see on Thursdays, I do so because, they too are salvageable. Try their sandals for a few days.

There is no Point of No Return! We have to make some ultimate, absolute totally irrational decision to do something harmful to ourselves. Have you not learned anything in your years?

The way I see it: Life ain’t perfect but I have been given it. It could even be worse. Who knows? I have it and I am going to use it to the best I have. How about you? Try it!!!!! That’s a philosophy worth living by. Have you learned it?

SUICIDE? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

One day I was sitting in my office minding my own business and a young lady came in. The very first words out of her mouth were, I have a gun, a knife, and pills and if you don’t give me some answers I will use one of them before we finish here. Wow! Many years have past with lot’s of water under the bridge but I have never for one moment forgotten how I felt at that moment.

Here before me was a precious life. Here was a very unique person. How could she get herself into such a condition? Back in those days I had very few answers but I did know to keep her alive at all cost until I helped her find her answer. Of course I was not qualified to do all that so I had to seek answers elsewhere. That was many suicide attempts ago.

This fellow lived with us for awhile. We had an extra room added because we had a marvelous German Exchange Student named Martin. This fellow occupied the room that was built when Martin came to live with us. Anyway, he came in one evening. He had been drinking and he brought a lever action 30-30 with him. I was sitting in the living room about midnight when he came in. He had decided it was too late. There was nothing left to live for in this life. He sat down, loaded the rifle and proceeded to put the barrel into his mouth and cock the rifle.

What followed was a discussion about the meaning of life and living. We discussed feeling sorry for oneself and all sorts of things that he was into at the time. It was pretty sad but nothing is sad enough to pull the trigger. Did you hear me, Nothing is sad enough to pull the trigger or to harm yourself in anyway.

Why do I hate suicide so badly? Because I love people so much and I believe that there is just not anything on this globe as valuable as a person. And, irregardless of what you might think, there is nothing worth killing yourself over in all of life. You might just be that person I am appealing to right now.

I got so caught up in this subject that I did lots of training in suicide studies and prevention. I read everything I could find. I have seen it happen to several I love. I can’t help feeling the way I do about it. I do not apologize for that at all. I care for you.

Back to reality and the fellow with the rifle in his mouth. I got enough of his moaning and groaning and crying and carrying on and so I just got up and walked over and took the rifle away from him, uncocked it, unloaded it and stored it away. I did not return it to him until he was stable enough to use it properly. The young lady turned out okay too.

Let me say it again loudly: NOTHING IS AS VALUABLE AND IMPORTANT AS A PERSON. DON’T EVER FORGET THAT. Write to me sometime.